Noor Faleh Almaleki, 20, USA

She wanted what every girl wanted. To look and feel beautiful, to get a degree, a job, settle down with the man she loved. But her ordinary hopes were to her father – rebelliousness.

Noor and her family had moved from Iraq to the US and settled in suburban Pheonix in 1990’s. When Noor made the decision to live with her boyfriend, instead of conform to her family’s pressure for arranged marriage, tensions arose between her father Faleh Hassan Almaleki and Noor. On October 20, 2009 in an Arizona parking lot Noor’s father attempted to run over his daughter and the mother of her boyfriend Amal Edan Khalaf, 43, with his 2000 Jeep Grand Cherokee. Noor spent two weeks in coma fighting for her life, but died as a result of the injuries she suffered.

Following the incident Almaleki had fled across the border to Mexico, then to London. He was subsequently caught, extradited and charged with two counts of aggravated assault but was acquitted of first-degree murder and first-degree attempted-murder charges at the time. Before the 20-year-old died, prosecutor Stephanie Low told a Maricopa County court that, “By his own admission, this was an intentional act and the reason was that his daughter had brought shame upon him and his family.”

Faleh Almaleki said he was angry that Noor had become “too Westernized” and “rebellious”. Prosecutors claimed the 50-year-old Muslim man committed an “honor killing” because his daughter had dishonored him by living with her boyfriend and his mother.

In February 2011, Almaleki was found guilty of second degree murder of his daughter and aggravated assault for seriously injuring Amal Edan Khalaf.

Noor was always known to be a loving and cheerful young woman. Described by friends as ‘never complaining’ and ‘patient’ and having a beautiful spirit. May she have found an abode where she wouldn’t have to run away, or be anyone else, but herself…

Unable are the loved to die.  For love is immortality.
~Emily Dickinson

Fadime Sahindal, 26, Sweden.

Fadime Şahindal moved to Sweden from Turkey at the age of seven. She took to Swedish culture and was opposed to her family’s insistence on an arranged marriage.

She was 26 when her father killed her. Several years before Fadime appeared in the media and talked openly about her family’s struggles to integrate into Swedish culture and the problems she faced growing up.

She had left home at one point to live with her boyfriend. Fadime’s boyfriend Patrick died in a car crash the day they were to move in together.

She was stalked by her father and brother who threatened to kill her so she went to the police who advised her to talk to her family. She then turned to the media with her story which gained the nation’s sympathy in 1998. By going to the media Fadime managed to receive support from the Swedish authorities, but she had also made the “shame” of her family public.

A Kurdish-Swedish parliamentarian negotiated a compromise in which Şahindal agreed to stay away from Uppsala where her family lived and her boyfriend was buried in exchange for her father promising not to stalk her.

On the 20th of November 2001 the Violence Against Women Network arranged a seminar about the topic “Integration on who’s terms?”.  Click the link to find the speech held by Fadime Sahindal at the Swedish Parliament during the seminar.

http://www.fadimesminne.nu/tal_ar_fadime_eng.html

She tells the detailed story of her father’s disapproval of her relationship with her Swedish boyfriend, Patrick and her wish to help other ethnic minority women in similar situations.

On 21 January 2002, Fadime was secretly visiting her mother and sisters in Uppsala. Her father, Kurdish immigrant Rahmi Sahinhal, arrived and shot her in the head, in front of her mother and two sisters. Confronted by police, he confessed and said to his defence that he was ill.

Fadime’s murder sparked a debate in Sweden about immigrant integration and also raised questions regarding her boyfriend Patrick’s death.

When he was in court in 2002, charged with Fadime’s killing, Rahmi confessed to the murder.  He said his daughter was a “whore” and claimed he had to kill her for family “honour”

Following her death successive governments have launched programs to combat honour based violence in Sweden. Commemorations are held around Sweden marking the anniversary of Fadime’s death.

Fadime was buried in Uppsala.

Fadime

Swirls of your hair,

They catch the last rays of the dusking sun,

And holds it around you.

Glowing amber light.

A warmth of fire in your eyes,

From courage mustered

Through the trails of time.

Dear one,

How you must have held dear to Love,

Protecting it like the warrior you are.

For you are the true warrior,

Defending love’s existence,

A voice for it to be freed.

Lovers saw in you, purpose.

You are its purpose, oh True Martyr of Love.

-MEMINI

Surjit Athwal, 28, UK.

Surjit Kaur Athwal sought to end an unhappy marriage by divorce. In 1998 her mother-in-law and husband took her to India under false pretences where she was killed. She had two children.  Her husband and mother in law have been convicted of her murder.  Surjit’s 70 year old mother-in-law Bachan Kaur Athwal was given a minimum of 20 years in prison, while her 43-year-old son and Surjit’s husband Sukhdave Athwal will not be eligible for parole for 27 years.

This landmark trial and sentencing was the result of more than eight years of constant, tireless campaigning by Surjit’s brother Jagdeesh Singh along with the excellent work of DCI Clive Driscoll and DC Palbinder Singh of Metropolitan Police, who led Surjit’s investigation and brought it to a successful criminal prosecution.

Judge Giles Forrester described the murder as “unspeakable”, saying: “This was a heinous crime characterised by great wickedness. “There was no motive worthy of the name. You did it because you thought she had brought shame on your family. “You decided that the so-called honour of your family was worth more than the life of this young woman.”

In the palm of her hands

Lay white flowers freshly picked

Along their morning dew,

Bathed in your name.

The nightingale tonight will sing,

The melody of the earth being just

For once.

Rain dances with the red earth,

For those who stood by your innocence.

For those who stood again the hate,

Who stood by you.

Honor is for those who stand unbroken in the name of justice.

It is for them , as for you…the earth rejoices.

- MEMINI

Samaira Nazir, 25, UK.

Educated and strong-willed, Samaira Nazir wanted to live and love freely without fear.

Samaira studied travel and tourism at Thames University, and while running the family’s recruitment agency, she fell in love with Afghan immigrant, Salman Mohommed. For several years, the couple worked together and kept their relationship a secret. Salman told jurors during the trial ”we were as boyfriend and girlfriend for about five or six years. But we couldn’t tell her family because Samaira said her father was a very strict man who would not allow any female in his family to marry outside of his circle and tribe. We had discussed marriage. Samaira wanted to tell her family herself.”

Samaira’s family was offended by her rejections of Pakistani suitors for her arranged marriage, so when she and Salman announced their engagement, tempers within Saimaira’s family escalated dangerously. “Her father was very upset and said I was only after their money,” Salman told jurors. Enraged by the news, Samaira’s father lunged at Salman with a knife.

In April 2005, Samaira was summoned to her parent’s house in Southall, Middlesex. Standing by her decision and love she was ready to confront the family. What started as a heated argument turned into a brutal attack, as Samaira was held down and stabbed repeatedly by her father, cousin and brother.  A neighbor heard the commotion and banged on the front door, but was sent away by Samaira’s father, who claimed his daughter was simply having a fit.

Samaira broke free from her attackers and tried to escape. Only her blood-covered arm made it through the front door before she was dragged back into the house by her hair. Bleeding from 18 stab wounds, Samaira continued to fight for her life. Samaira was heard from outside the home shouting “You are not my mother anymore!” A silk scarf was then tied around her neck, and her throat was slit three times. Police found Samaira drenched with blood in the home along with her traumatized, blood-splattered two and four-year-old nieces. Police believe that the girls were ordered to watch as a warning to them of what happens to disobedient women.

In July 2006, Samaira’s brother and cousin were sentenced to life in prison. Her father was also charged, but he fled to Pakistan and is still in hiding. Charges against Samaira’s mother were dropped.

After the trial Nazir Afzal of the Crown Prosecution Service, said “Samaira was murdered because she loved the wrong person, in her family’s eyes. It was an ‘honour killing’ to protect the perceived status of the family, to mark their disapproval. We hope the investigation and prosecution will deter others who may wish to harm family members because of practices that are as tragic as they are outdated.”

Love is grace,

Love is glory,

Love is her eyes when they meet his.

Love is when the heart speaks,

And the mind whispers,

thoughts,

of God and beauty.

Love is her kindness,

Love is her light,

Love is the synchronized breathing

Of two birds in flight,

Love is being set free,

From the chains that binds thee.

Dearest…. Love will be waiting for you,

With outstretched arms and big open hearts.

Love will be waiting for you,

when justice speaks, and truth is heard.

Love is waiting.

-MEMINI

Amina Said 18 and her sister Sarah 17, USA.

Young, teenage love seems an innocent part of growing-up in the United States, but for Amina and Sarah Said, having American,  high school sweethearts was deadly.

Sarah and Amina were model students, smart, athletic, beautiful, fun and ambitious. The girls were on the honor roll and planned to become doctors. These sisters’ bright smiles and attitudes fooled most teachers and peers, but closer friends saw right through their facade, noticing welts, bruises and fear. Amina once had imprints of her braces cut into her lips after her father, Yaser Said, kicked her. She was denied medical attention as it would likely lead to a child abuse investigation.Yaser was already known for his abusive tendencies. He beat his wife and kids and molested his daughters when they were little.

The girls were forbidden at an early age to have boyfriends. Yaser threatened them many times and planned to marry-off his daughters after high school graduation to suitors he picked from his home town in Egypt. Amina was awarded a scholarship to attend Texas A&M. When she asked her father when she would be able to attend college once married, he told her when/if her husband allowed.

Yasar was becoming more enraged by his daughters’ westernized ways, from their attitudes and aspirations to their tastes in clothing and music. When he found out Amina had a serious boyfriend during Christmas of 2007, he pulled a gun on the girls. When Yaser learned that Sarah had a boyfriend, too, tensions rose so high that Patricia Yaser, the girls’ mother, hid them away in another state with their boyfriends.

Yaser manipulated Patricia to lure his daughters back home. When Amina figured-out the ploy, she refused to meet with her father and stayed with friends. Sarah obeyed and promised to break-up with her boyfriend. On New Year’s Day, Amina agreed to meet her family for tea. Her father, a taxi driver, picked-up Sarah and Amina in his cab and pulled a gun on them. Amina died instantly after two gunshots shattered her spinal cord. Sarah, however, had a longer and more frightening death. She was shot nine times and attempted to make a 911 emergency call on her cell before Yaser finished her off. The sisters were found dead in the parked taxi at a hotel.

Yaser Said fled the country and is still at large, leaving a home torn by hate and two dead daughters whose lives were cut short by the blind rage of a dishonorable father. The ultimate betrayal of a parent against his own children.

Sweet is the voice of a sister in the season of sorrow.

~Benjamin Disraeli

Heshu Yones, 16, UK.

Abdullah Yones, began a life sentence in October 2003 for the murder of his 16-year-old daughter, Heshu a year earlier.

Heshu Yones was 16 when her father discovered she had a relationship with a classmate. He attempted to force her to marry a cousin in Kurdistan, and subjected her to virginity testing.

It was the first time in British legal history that a plea of ‘honour killing’ had been entered.

Abdullah said he stabbed Heshu to death at their West London home, because he feared she was becoming westernised.

The Metropolitan police subsequently set up a task force in a bid to increase understanding and awareness of this complex cultural issue though it was too late for women like Yones.

Heshu, who was described as popular and fun-loving, planned to run away from home after starting a relationship with an 18-year-old Lebanese boy.  In a letter to her parents, Heshu wrote:

“Bye Dad, sorry I was so much trouble. Me and you will probably never understand each other, but I’m sorry I wasn’t what you wanted, but there’s some things you can’t change. Hey, for an older man you have a good strong punch and kick. I hope you enjoyed testing your strength on me, it was fun being on the receiving end. Well done.”

Abdullah stabbed his daughter Heshu 11 times and then slit her throat with a kitchen knife. Heshu took 15 minutes to bleed to death.

Gülsüm Semin, 20, Germany.

20-year-old ethnic Kurdish woman, Gülsüm was strangled with a clothes line and clubbed to death in March 2009.

Her brother confessed to the crime. Germans have been outraged at a recent series of execution-style honour killings of young women by immigrant families.

Police said the family had attempted to force Gülsüm into a planned marriage and then discovered she was not a virgin and that she had undergone one or more abortions.

Ayman Udas, Pakistan.

Ayman Udas, a rising female vocalist in Peshawar, the capital of Pakistan’s Northwest Frontier Province, was shot to death at her home, by her own brothers on April 27th 2009

Her death rattled the city’s jittery artistic community, as local musicians and dancers in Peshawar — a city renowned for its vibrant artistic life — face increasing pressure as the region falls under greater Taliban influence.

Some attributed Udas’s death to the Islamist militants, but her husband told reporters that his wife was killed because she broke family traditions.

A beautiful woman in her early 30s and mother of two, Udas recently remarried after a divorce. Her two brothers, Alamgir and Ismail, disapproved of her divorce, remarriage, and her artistic career, all of which disgrace a family’s name in conservative Islamic society.

The honor killing, an ancient tradition in which a male family member kills a female to “save” the family name and reputation took place on April 27 at the family’s home while Udas’s husband was out picking up milk. He immediately took the case to the authorities, who have made no arrests but raided several locations in search of the suspected killers.

Ayman  had recently given her first television appearance.  In one of her more popular songs, “Mra shum ashna khu pa jwando ki usam, janana sta pa waswaso ki usa,” she sings about the importance of courage, even to the point of defying death.

Her death “is absolutely unacceptable,” Ahmad Ali Adil of the University of Peshawar told RFE/RL’s Radio Free Afghanistan, calling the crime “a murder of humanity.” He said that unless society changes, several other female performers will face similar problems.

Meanwhile, artists are coming under direct threat in Taliban-controlled areas. In January, a dancer’s bullet-ridden body was left in the center of Swat Valley’s capital of Mingora — not far from where Udas grew up — with a note warning locals that “un-Islamic voices” will no longer be tolerated.

Ayman, a creative and talented woman, a promising poet, lyricist, singer and performer will be greatly missed.

A poem rose

From somewhere between the cracks of pain

Like a green stem rising upwards to the embrace the sun

Despite the arid desert harshness,

That does not allow one to breathe.

There was no rain,

But the words of that poem fell like rain,

As breaths of respite to the lost and lonely,

As glimpses of hope to hearts finding courage,

As a voice guiding wanderers back to God’s presence.

That lone stem called upon the clouds to release,

freedom.

To release love,

upon a world starved of love.

You are that poem dearest,

And this harsh Earth released you free of form,

To rain down as freedom,

To defy hate in acts of courage,

So that our hearts will be strengthened

To set love free

As you are.

You are Earth’s poem.

- MEMINI

Sazan Bajez-Abdullah, 24, Germany.

In Munich, Germany, Iraqi-born Kazim Mahmud Raschid, killed his ex-wife, Sazan Bajez-Abdullah, in late 2006.

On 25^th of October 2006, Sazan’s divorce from Kazim Mahmud Raschid was finalised. He had beaten her so much during their marriage that the police had obtained a restraining order against him.

The same day, he killed her for the dishonour of divorce in the busy Maier Leibnitz street. He stabbed her 13 times poured gasoline over her, as she lay wounded he set her on fire. Residents from balconies threw down water, those on the street tried salvaging her body with wet cloth and attempted to shield her two year old son to safety. A criminal investigator, nearby  arrested Kazim straight away on hearing the commotion.

The following year, during his trial, Kazim admitted to planning the act. “I wanted to kill her. If I do this, I am a man”.

Kazim Mahmud Raschid is sentenced to life imprisonment without parole.

Rand Abdel-Qader, 17, Iraq.

17-year-old Rand Abdel-Qader, ‘a student of English at Basra University, met Paul, a 22-year-old soldier posted to southern Iraq in late 2007.

Her father, a government employee, Sergeant Ali Jabbar, killed her on 16^th March 2008 after discovering she had been seen in public talking to Paul. Her body was then tossed into a makeshift grave without ceremony as her uncles spat on it in disgust.

Jabbar was initially arrested but released after two hours. He said, police congratulated him on what he had done:-

‘They are men and know what honour is…I don’t have a daughter now, and I prefer to say that I never had one. That girl humiliated me in front of my family and friends. Speaking with a foreign solider, she lost what is the most precious thing for any woman..’I have only two boys from now on. That girl was a mistake in my life. I know God is blessing me for what I did.  My sons are by my side, and they were men enough to help me finish the life of someone who just brought shame to ours.’

Rand’s mother, Leila has divorced her husband and begun working for a women’s group to help others like Rand. She is in hiding as she receives threats from her former husband and her two sons who send letters to her relatives that she’s a prostitute for seeking a divorce. She has spoken to the international media:-

‘I would prefer to be killed than sleep in the same bed with a man who was able to do what he did to his own daughter, who, over the years, had only given him unconditional love.’

She said Ali used his feet to press down hard on his own daughter’s throat until she was suffocated. Then he called for a knife and began to cut at her body. All the time he was calling out that his honour was being cleansed.

‘I just couldn’t stand it. I fainted.’ recalled Leila. ‘I woke up in a blur later with dozens of neighbours at home and the local police.’

‘He asked if it was true that she was having an affair with a British soldier. She started to cry. She was nervous so he got hold of her hair and started thumping her again and again.

‘I screamed and called out for her two brothers so they could get their father away from her. But, instead of saving her they helped him end her life,’ she said.

He has contacts inside the Basra government and it wasn’t hard for him to be released and what he did to be forgotten.

In the same year Rand was murdered, 133 women were killed in Basra – 47 of them for so-called ‘honour killings’, according to the Basra Security Committee. Out of those 47 cases there were only three convictions for murder.

‘She was killed by animals. Every night when go to bed I remember the face of Rand calling for help while her father and brothers ended her life. Rand told me about the soldier, but she swore it was just a friendship. She said she spoke with him because she was the only English speaker. I raised her in a religious manner and she never went out alone until she joined the university and then later when she was doing aid work.’

Rand’s mother used to call her ‘Rose’. ‘That was my nickname for her because when she was born she was so beautiful,’ she said.

‘Now, my lovely Rose is in her grave. But, God will make her father pay, either in this world … or in the world after.’